A Place to Write

Eisley does not like the seat belt. She often avoids putting it on. She gets easily frustrated if it's twisted at all. We've discussed with her many times how important a seat belt is. It will save her life in a car accident. We want her to wear it because we want her to be safe. A few days ago we got into the car and I reminded the girls to buckle up. Several miles down the road we looked back and realized Eisley had chosen to ignore me. Brendon was annoyed and started with "Are you kidding me Eisley?!" and then jumped into "If we get into an accident you are dead. There would be no more life. Do you understand that?" And Eisley gave a pouty little face and said "There's a second coming." And then we both died laughing and couldn't seriously scold her any more. Eisley is so good at hearing something and remembering it and applying it. She's good at asking what certain words mean if she doesn't know them. She has always be

It's amazing how quickly you can gain or lose a relationship. It takes so little effort. One harsh word or even harsh silence can make a person feel like you don't care. And then if the switch if flipped--if an apology is offered or you have a good conversation, that relationship can come right back. J gave us two months of silence. We felt rejected. We felt lost. We felt annoyed. We felt angry. And then, school came back in and we instituted new rules and he flipped a switch and suddenly we remember how good of a kid he is. He gave no explanation. He gave no apology. And yet here we are. Happy again. (Cautiously) I feel like there's a deeper life lesson here. I think there's an ideal concept of love where no matter how you are treated, you love and are confident and happy anyways. But I don't think that's realistic. I don't mean that I stopped loving J or myself during the silence. I loved us both. But I was not fully happy. I wonder what it takes to

It is so hard for me to believe you've been in our lives for a year! Aspen, you are the happiest baby I know. You have the greatest smile and you offer it to people whether they want it or not. I get the feeling you are going to be very social when you get older. Already you have a tendency to laugh and talk even if no one is joining you. If someone is joining you--great! A few nights ago you were walking along the couch and saw Brendon's shoes kicked up on the foot rest so you walked over and grabbed them and gave him this big mischievous grin. He was consumed with his phone and didn't notice but you just kept grabbing his feet and laughing and smiling, only pausing occasionally to get his reaction. It was so cute! (He did eventually give you the attention you were wanting) You did not hesitate at all to grab the entire cupcake and put it in your mouth. I remember Kaybree especially taking a few minutes to figure out if she liked the feeling of the frosting. You didn&

I was nervous all day yesterday. I didn't eat lunch. I hurried home as quickly as I could. It was the day of your review. Hard questions would be asked. Hard answers would be given. This could be an ending. But it wasn't. We sat and listened as the representative from the Department of Child Safety (DCS) asked the tough questions. You gave the same answers we've heard over and over again.  "It's going to be different this time because I'm going to try harder." "I'm going to keep my head down." "I'm going to do the work." "I don't need help." It's the same thing we heard when we sat and had a discussion before the start of last semester. Before your grades slipped into 30 percents--again. Before you racked up more than 70 absences in one semester. Before your bank account was over-drafted for the 10th time. But then all that happened anyways. I expected it to be difficult because I expected

We sleep in the same house each night but I'm pretty sure I've seen you for a total of 15 minutes in the past two weeks. If that. I keep trying to figure out why. I understand not wanting to celebrate Christmas with us. I hate it, but I can understand it and I can get over it. But no shared meals ever? No texts or check ins ever? The only phone calls I get lately seem to start off with "First things first, lady," when you're getting ready to defend yourself for something I nagged you about over text. I can't decide if this distance normal or if it is a coping mechanism, you pushing us away because you're afraid we are about to leave you anyways, or if you honestly just want to be done with us. How much do parents see their 18-year-old normally? Am I overreacting? I don't hear from you all day but you're home by curfew. Then it's a quick "hey" and straight up to your bedroom, door locked. Is that normal? Unfortunately you're at