A Place to Write

I set very low expectations for Christmas this year. We've been warned it would be rough. J warned us it would be rough. For all of December he has blamed any grumpiness on it being too close to Christmas. He doesn't give any detail why Christmas is so rough. I assume it's the same reason why Easter is rough. It's remembering times with younger siblings and missing seeing them grow up. He couldn't recall any positive Christmas memories or even any celebration at all in 2016. I put a lot of thought into what to get him. The best gift was a skateboard. A real one. When he saw it his reaction was "Is it from Walmart?" I was so excited to tell him "Nope!" It came from a real skate shop. Just like all his friends. Suddenly Christmas wasn't so bad. J put up with being in matching Christmas jammies at the Vance's house all morning and even stood in for pictures. He enjoyed wrestling with David and he got more clothes which he put on to wea

“Shouldn’t they be going home?” she asked as a loud noise thumped through the house from J’s bedroom.Three teenagers were wrestling. Loudly. I shrugged. “Why? It’s not their bedtime.” “Because it’s good for kids to have structure and it’s a school night.” The conversation wasn’t mean. It was said in a joking tone but boy was it laced with judgement. And it got to me. It was 8 p.m. on a Wednesday and yes, my home was full of very rowdy, very loud teenage boys. But they were having fun and I knew exactly where they were and what they were doing and they weren’t hurting anyone. Seemed good enough for me! I’m feeling and hearing it often lately. I need to apply more “structure” to J’s life. I just think my idea of structure is different. I feel like what they really mean is “expectations.” Because J has structure. He has two parents. He has a home and food. He wakes up, he goes to school, he comes home or he hangs out with his friends. Either way he knows he has to let me