Skip to main content

Modest

"Do you think I look good like this?"

I knew I'd have to cross this bridge at some point. Kaybree looked up at me with her little booty shorts, feeling good about herself and the way she looks and wanting confirmation that she looked cute.

She did look cute. She's perfectly thin and beautiful and youthful, with no cellulite to be seen. She was wearing a tshirt and some biker shorts. The biker shorts are short but look adorable on her. The only reason I was asking her to change was because an aunt posted a Facebook status about the "modesty" debate in her house that morning and we were about to head over to their house. I didn't want to ruin their modesty debate by allowing my child to be the bad example.

But I struggle with the modesty debate. Because shouldn't it be what's on the inside that matters? Yes, if Kaybree were older I probably wouldn't allow her to wear those shorts outside the house--but then again maybe I would if she were playing a sport. I wouldn't let her wear something that showed bare tummy or was sleeveless.

I want her to know whatever makes her feel comfortable and confident is fine with me. She should be proud of her cute little body. At this point in her life she's not wearing short shorts to get the attention of a boy. She's wearing it because it's cute and comfortable. But at some point even if she feels cute and comfortable we may need to steer her in a more conservative direction. Cause she's a cute girl.

Modesty is so much more than the clothes you put on your body. It's the way you treat others more than anything. Not putting yourself above anyone else. Some day that may mean not showing off more than you need to. We'll have to prepare her for that. I hope we don't have to have too many modesty debates in our household. I hope as the girls learn how to treat their bodies and other people they'll know what is OK to wear and what isn't. I don't want to set hard and fast rules. I want to teach correct principles and let her decide.

For the record--baby girl you look beautiful in anything! You are a stunning little being and I am proud to be your mama! Even on the days when you wear all the variations of pink in your closet and refuse to let me brush your hair. You work it, girl!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Grief

 Grief is such a weird thing. Why does a death have to hurt even 16 years after it happened? Why does it hurt at all if it's such a part of life? And when it does hurt it just feels silly. I can't shut my life down every time it hits. Life doesn't work like that. It never has.  Life has continued in the past 16 years. It's completely different now. It's a life she never experienced. It's a life she wasn't a part of (to no fault of her own!) So why does it still hurt? And when it does hurt why does it hit like a ton of bricks? Why can't I stop the tears from coming?  How are you supposed to act when someone is grieving? I don't know, and that's why I hide it from my husband and kids. Because they can't understand. They never knew her. They don't know this grief. I don't want any pity.  So I write because writing works. It helps to vent, even though no one will read it. I did dream of her last night. It was Michelle Day, the annual day ...

What do you want out of this?

I think when we started fostering we were often asked what we wanted. What was our intention? We didn’t want to grow our family. We didn’t have self improvement in mind (although that definitely happened.) For us, we felt like we had a great life and enough of it to share. We just wanted to love someone. I think the only healthy mindset to have while fostering is being prepared to love someone—no matter what. That was our biggest take away. We learned what truly, honestly unconditional love was.  What I’m most proud of is the fact that that love has endured. J has been coming around pretty often lately. The day before his 21st birthday he allowed us to take him out to celebrate. This past weekend he brought his girlfriend over and they stayed and played games after dinner. He’s still not “successful.” He didn’t finish high school. He’s not excelling at work. His current landlord is kicking him out at the end of the month and with his work schedule… his future housing situation does...