A Place to Write

In January I cried through my appointments with my oncology doctor and surgeons. The whole idea of having a preventative mastectomy was overwhelming.  I made my peace with it. I made a plan for myself. Work slows down near the end of the year and we get all sorts of holidays so I thought if I could take my time off then, I would be fine. I made it through two whole doctor's appointments with no tears and no fear, because I had a plan, and then today that was messed up. My doctor told me reconstruction could take up to three months--which means I can't do the surgery when I originally planned if I want to get it all done in one calendar year (for insurance purposes). She suggested moving it up to August. That is next month. And if we do the surgery in August that means our family trip we have planned for October--it's a no. Camping trip I planned for September? Probably not. And honestly that all makes me more upset than anything. And suddenly I'm crying again.  I want t...

I loved that I got the chance to go to girls camp with kaybree and eisley this year. We went to camp LoMia which is where I always went to camp when I was young.  It’s amazing to me how little has changed about that special camp. I love it! We had a great time. Eisley was obsessed with the camp songs and never stopped singing. All the leaders said she was born to be a YCL. Some day she is going to be an amazing one!  Kaybree made a new friend and stood up for her, even when her other friend tried to convince her she was annoying. I was proud of that.  On the final night, our stake presidency gave a small devotional. President Nelson told each of the girls to close their eyes and picture the most faithful person they know. He explained that they were all thinking of someone and it was very likely that none of them were thinking of the same person. We are surrounded by faithful people and we can be that faithful person too. When the girls opened their eyes Eisley turned to ...

We just returned from a trip to Spokane, Washington. We celebrated the 20th anniversary of Brendon leaving on his mission. It was so beautiful there so green and luscious everywhere flowers everywhere.  Brendon is a terrible tour guide, but we all put up with his endless drives through every single neighborhood he tracked during his time there. He’s a terrible tour guide because he remembers the most minute details about his two years there and every memory leads to another so we, as the audience, hear the first sentence of one story and then he is distracted and jumps to the middle of the next story. There’s no doubt he loved his mission.  In between the long drives we did do as much tourist stuff as possible. We stopped at River Front park and rode the gondola over the river. We also rented pedal go carts for the girls to ride for an hour. We stopped at all the shops in downtown Pullman. We walked around the lake in Coeur d’Alene and ate ginormous ice cream sundaes. We also ...

 Have you ever had a conversation with someone and replayed it a million times in your head and thought of a million things you should have said? In the moment, silence was my only option, but now I feel like if I don't get these thoughts out of my head, I might crumble and die. And at the same time silence is probably still my best option when it comes to the person I had the actual conversation with. Hence, to the blog I go. Here is what I should have said: If you were not going to give me this job--why did you tell me to apply for it? Why did you have consistent, ongoing conversations with me about what the needs were and what it would look like? Why did you tell me to think optimistically and picture myself in that position? Why did you force my mind to go there? To be fair, you mentioned from the beginning that if I did not get the job, you had a plan for me. Now you want to have a conversation about what that will look like. You want to push me to a fundraiser role. The probl...

Today, I achieved a great professional achievement. I got my CFRE. It’s a big deal.  Brendon is out of town so I took the girls to get sushi to celebrate. This was our conversation on the way home.  *Passed by a Husband and Wife Law Team billboard Eisley: That dude wears suspenders. I would not call them first. I would call Jonathan first.  Me: I would call Brother Briggs first because he’s a criminal defense lawyer. Jon does HOA law which would not be very useful. Eisley: Ooo yeah. I feel like I’m going to be that kid some day. I’d call Brittany because she has experience, then Bro Briggs.  Me: You’re going to be the one to call to hide a body?  Eisley: Yeah. I’ll probably already be hiding one. I feel like I’m the Brittany, Aspen is Brodie, Kaybree is Dad.  Kaybree: Hmmm, I’m not sure. Aspen—do you like girls? Aspen: What? Kaybree: Just, would you like to marry a girl one day? Aspen: No.  Eisley: If you did, we would love her.  And then we all l...

 My job is difficult to describe to people outside of non-profits so I usually don't. I say I'm a Grant Writer--because I am, but to some people that means a lot and to others it means nothing. I don't get too many people who are interested. To be truthful, I do think grant writing is a spectacular professional that takes a lot of skill. Not only do you have to be an excellent writer, able to tell the stories of the organization in a way that is interesting and inspiring, but you also have to be savvy enough to find your way around hundreds of different online portals (none of which are user friendly) and be diligent enough to meet strict deadlines and compile loads and loads of paperwork. At my organization we submit about 15-30 applications every month and every single application has different requirements and expectations in order to receive funding. The work doesn't stop when an application is turned in. Once we get that funding it adds another to-do to our list, m...