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Things I wish I Said

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 Have you ever had a conversation with someone and replayed it a million times in your head and thought of a million things you should have said? In the moment, silence was my only option, but now I feel like if I don't get these thoughts out of my head, I might crumble and die. And at the same time silence is probably still my best option when it comes to the person I had the actual conversation with. Hence, to the blog I go. Here is what I should have said: If you were not going to give me this job--why did you tell me to apply for it? Why did you have consistent, ongoing conversations with me about what the needs were and what it would look like? Why did you tell me to think optimistically and picture myself in that position? Why did you force my mind to go there? To be fair, you mentioned from the beginning that if I did not get the job, you had a plan for me. Now you want to have a conversation about what that will look like. You want to push me to a fundraiser role. The probl...
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I did it!

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Today, I achieved a great professional achievement. I got my CFRE. It’s a big deal.  Brendon is out of town so I took the girls to get sushi to celebrate. This was our conversation on the way home.  *Passed by a Husband and Wife Law Team billboard Eisley: That dude wears suspenders. I would not call them first. I would call Jonathan first.  Me: I would call Brother Briggs first because he’s a criminal defense lawyer. Jon does HOA law which would not be very useful. Eisley: Ooo yeah. I feel like I’m going to be that kid some day. I’d call Brittany because she has experience, then Bro Briggs.  Me: You’re going to be the one to call to hide a body?  Eisley: Yeah. I’ll probably already be hiding one. I feel like I’m the Brittany, Aspen is Brodie, Kaybree is Dad.  Kaybree: Hmmm, I’m not sure. Aspen—do you like girls? Aspen: What? Kaybree: Just, would you like to marry a girl one day? Aspen: No.  Eisley: If you did, we would love her.  And then we all l...
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Work stuff

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 My job is difficult to describe to people outside of non-profits so I usually don't. I say I'm a Grant Writer--because I am, but to some people that means a lot and to others it means nothing. I don't get too many people who are interested. To be truthful, I do think grant writing is a spectacular professional that takes a lot of skill. Not only do you have to be an excellent writer, able to tell the stories of the organization in a way that is interesting and inspiring, but you also have to be savvy enough to find your way around hundreds of different online portals (none of which are user friendly) and be diligent enough to meet strict deadlines and compile loads and loads of paperwork. At my organization we submit about 15-30 applications every month and every single application has different requirements and expectations in order to receive funding. The work doesn't stop when an application is turned in. Once we get that funding it adds another to-do to our list, m...
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Memories

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Originally written 4/15/26 I volunteered to be a “fun” mom tomorrow and participate in “Whose mom is it?” During primary. There will be four moms with bags on our heads and we will answer questions and the kids will have to guess who it is. Problem is the questions are so hard! I’ll paste them here and practice my answers. What’s your “mom superpower” (besides finding lost things)? I think maybe filling out paperwork? I excel at that.  What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever said as a mom? Probably “no more licking your sister’s feet.” How long can you hide in the bathroom before someone notices? I think 15 minutes before they start wondering where I’m at but a solid hour till they find me. What’s your most-used mom phrase? I don’t know. Maybe “Do it yourself?” Have you ever eaten candy in secret so you didn’t have to share? Of course. ⸻ 🍕 Everyday Mom Life Humor What’s your go-to “I don’t feel like cooking” dinner? Chicken Alfredo. Or beans and rice. What chore do you pr...
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Night of memories

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Originally written 4/21/26 We had another night by the fire at the park. To fill silence, Kaybree told us all her husbands. They include: The boy from Lyle Lyle Crocodile  Jaylin Green or Dillan Brooks from the Suns A boy from the ward who she didn’t want to name. Chad Michael Murray Eisley told us all that Chad Michael Murray was SO ugly, but she liked that guy from Gilmore Girls who Rory went to school with. Tristan. Played by Chad Michael Murray… Then I busted out the blog to share a few stories. Aspen was disappointed that I only had a few stories about her. She told me I need to write more about her.  We returned home and I put Aspen to bed and Kaybree and Eisley took over bedtime. Eisley donned a mask, hat an crown and put on a performance for Aspen, acting out one of the books on her shelf. Kaybree eventually joined in. While Eisley read, Kaybree did what looked like an interpretive dance to the story and Aspen laughed and laughed.  Halfway through the story she tu...
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Marriage

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Originally written 3/2/26 Marriage is so strange. You marry someone because they make you better. You discover a new version of yourself when you’re with them and it makes you excited. It makes you happy. (At least it should!) And then a few years down the road, for some reason, they suddenly bring out the worst in you. Maybe they don’t bring it out, but it’s what they are forced to endure. And you have to take a step back and think Why? What has this person done to deserve my worst?  And it’s probably nothing. Maybe they didn’t have time to help with the chore you wanted to get done. Maybe they got the wrong kind of milk at the grocery store. Maybe they were too tired to make dinner.  Brendon and I went away for our anniversary this year. We spent just two days in Prescott. We spent the drive up asking deep, reflective questions and talking no without interruptions. We ate delicious food and we spent hours quietly reading a book together. And I was reminded of the version of ...
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Eisley babysitting

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Eisley had her first solo babysitting gig tonight. She and kaybree babysat together over the summer and that same family asked if Eisley could babysit for them and Kaybree babysit for their friends while they went to a game night tonight. Kaybree’s job ended up canceling but Eisley still got to go. The kids were already asleep when she got there, so she just had to sit around and wait. The job was supposed to be done at 10:30 but I got a text from the mom around 10:20 asking if 11 would be OK.  “I texted Eisley but didn’t hear back so just wanted to make sure it was OK!” I said yes, of course, but then my mind got spinning. Why didn’t Eisley text back? I sent her a text. No response. I called. No answer. I called again. Nothing.  By then, I knew Eisley had to be asleep and I also know Eisley sleeps like a rock. I didn’t want them coming home to that.  Their house is right around the corner so I walked over and prayed they left the door unlocked. They did! As soon as I wal...
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