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Grandpa

My Grandpa passed away last week. Grandpa Don.

He was 85 and honestly he hasn't been in the best of health for a long time between heart surgeries and controlling his diabetes but it was still a shock. It was a shock mostly because every time he goes into the hospital (which seems to happen every few months) we all have become accustomed to him coming back out just fine.

Before Eisley was born I sat down with Grandpa to record some of his memories from his childhood. I never did anything with the notes, although now they are being used to help write his eulogy. It was fascinating, though, because my grandpa is not a typical person. He's lived a typical life, I suppose, but he, himself is just unique.

He was raised in Buffalo, New York. His mother was German and his father was the son of immigrants from the UK. His parents were very relaxed with him and allowed him to roam freely. His father was a skilled worker and could, and would, build anything he wanted. He grew up wanting to be a veterinarian and he raised rabbits and other small animals in a field near his house.

His one real complaint about his parents is that they were racist and believed Jews were lesser-than them and so Jews were never allowed in the house. His parents discrimination never set well with him and he vowed he would never pass that onto his kids.

He's not religious, he described himself as a scientist. When he was young, after serving in the war and losing friends and after the tragic loss of his wife, he decided to go school to find the meaning of life. He took every religion class available and served as a chaplain and in the end he still couldn't determine the meaning of life.

He was offered a job as a pastor at a church in California. When he got off the plane and saw an African American man with a white woman, he knew he was going to like California. The church was situated near a lot of farms. The farmers were wealthy and used Mexicans for cheap labor. One of his first acts as pastor was to set up a ministry to those poor Hispanic workers. Some parishioners put up a fight, but eventually they all agreed it was the best thing for the church.

At that church he taught the people to be kind to one another, to serve those less fortunate and to generally care for people. One day a woman asked him why he never spoke about heaven or anything theological. He told her he didn't know anyone who had ever returned from heaven, so he couldn't speak to it. She left and never came back and he decided it probably wasn't right for him to be leading this church.

He held many other jobs over the years. He was a broker, he was the head of the Casa Grande Chamber of Commerce. In all his positions he tried to take care of people. He never did become a veterinarian.

He married several times and even up until the day he died he had a girlfriend. He was always chasing after women.

His personality was always a bit surprising. He didn't come off as particularly warm or inviting. He was always questioning. Many times his questions made people uncomfortable and maybe even a little angry. He loved to debate and had strong, thought out opinions. I think he also enjoyed making people squirm a little bit. Still--he was never angry at the end of a debate. (He was never really angry at all that I can recall.) He was always respectful of the other person's opinion and was fine to leave it at what it was at any time. He was the king of agreeing to disagree.

He had a way with animals. He loved them. He was always feeding the dog--anyone's dog that was near by. He was also a great grandpa. When we were young for each birthday he would give us a coupon for dinner and birthday shopping. He'd take us to eat anywhere we wanted to go and then out shopping anywhere we wanted to go--just us and him. I think he only did it for me and my siblings. Maybe because we were the only ones close enough to make it happen. Maybe because he knew my mom was never wealthy and it was something small he could do for us. Maybe he just genuinely liked spending time with his grandkids. Whatever it was--it was very kind of him.

As I look back over his life and the things he passed on to his kids and his grandkids I can't help thinking the world could use a few more men like him. He taught us to be kind to everyone. He taught us to love the outdoors. He taught us to make time for family. He taught us to love life. He was a great man!

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