A Place to Write

Aspen has been waiting a very long time for her birthday. That’s a tough thing for a child who is still too young to understand the concept of time. We finally got the countdown to make sense when we started counting “sleeps” instead of days. On her birthday we went and got our traditional birthday donuts.  Aspen spent time with Barb who let Brittany take her out. She came home with two new necklaces, 9 headbands, and a new outfit. She had three hotdogs for lunch and rode the carousel at the mall four times. I made Aspen the strawberry kiwi with whipped cream frosting cupcakes she requested. She only ate the fresh fruit on top.  We went out to eat at Red Robin because Aspen loves their Mac and cheese but she was too busy having a pretend conversation on her new play phone most of the night to actually eat. Kaybree voiced Mickey on the other end of the line.  I share all of this so we will always have recorded evidence of how positively spoiled and loved this little girl i...

I didn’t keep a copy of my Christmas gift to Barb but we had a book printed. Here is the rough cut. What Aspen Knows Grandma Vance was a busy matriarch of a large family. She was always busy taking care of someone and to each person in her family she played a unique role. To some she was a confidant. To some she was a companion for sports games. To some she was a shopping partner. To many she was a baker and a maker of the most delicious foods. Some of her grandchildren saw her as the one person they were most afraid to disappoint. Some saw her as the one who always corrected their grammar. Some saw her as the enforcer of the family’s rules. But Aspen, the little one, saw her in a completely unique way. For Aspen, Grandma Vance was magic.  She was magic because she was stable.  Aspen knew every day, Monday through Friday, she would get to see Grandma Vance. She knew what Grandma Vance would be eating for breakfast (and that she might even share with her!) She knew Grandma woul...

I LOVEthe relationship Aspen has with her grandparents. I don’t know any other kid this lucky. She spends all day every day playing with Grandma and Grandpa and even cries when someone mentions her getting older—because she knows it makes grandma sad. 

I think when we started fostering we were often asked what we wanted. What was our intention? We didn’t want to grow our family. We didn’t have self improvement in mind (although that definitely happened.) For us, we felt like we had a great life and enough of it to share. We just wanted to love someone. I think the only healthy mindset to have while fostering is being prepared to love someone—no matter what. That was our biggest take away. We learned what truly, honestly unconditional love was.  What I’m most proud of is the fact that that love has endured. J has been coming around pretty often lately. The day before his 21st birthday he allowed us to take him out to celebrate. This past weekend he brought his girlfriend over and they stayed and played games after dinner. He’s still not “successful.” He didn’t finish high school. He’s not excelling at work. His current landlord is kicking him out at the end of the month and with his work schedule… his future housing situation does...

Man it has been too long since I’ve taken the time to write. I started a new freelance position a few months ago and working three jobs has been very time consuming. I also have a TikTok addiction but oh well! Anyways the girls started at a new school this year and I have been loving it. They ride the bus which means they are out the door early and it’s less stressful for me. Their teachers are all experienced teachers. I know women in the ward who work at the school. The school does a great job making their activities accessible for every family. It’s just nice having them at the public school! Now on to what I do not like.  I’m not sure if it is the age or the group of girls but Kaybree’s social life has been all drama! She has made friends quickly but I cannot tell you how often one is fighting with another or all of them are ignoring Kaybree. It’s exhausting! Was I this dramatic in 5th grade?  Now that I think about it, I’m sure I was. I didn’t fight with my friends often ...

 Kaybree and Eisley started at a new school yesterday. It didn't go great. We were more rushed in the morning than I wanted to be. We waited too long to do a father's blessing and of course when we did it, it made Kaybree cry. So we left the house in tears. The bus was early and because it's new to us, the girls ran and hopped on. I didn't get a "First day of school!" happy, smiley photo. I got heartache. We watched the bus drive away. I knew Kaybree still had tears in her eyes. I worried throughout the day. The cookies I made for after school did not turn out great. Too much flour. I also ran to get Aspen from Grandma Vance and missed getting the girls from the bus stop.  Kaybree was melancholy right away. When I got home a few minutes later the tears were flowing. We sat on the beanbag and I held you as you cried. I cried with you.  "I don't know anyone in my class." "I was the only new kid." "I didn't know what was going on....

Yesterday I was trying to find my library card. Aspen says  “I didn’t take it! I take things from Eisley’s room and Kaybree’s room but not here.” This morning she excitedly brought me all the things she stole last night from Kaybrees room.  Aspen loves the lizard friends she sees on the wall in our backyard. Today she saw one and told me it’s name was “Lizzy Rene Hurtado” We are getting a puppy next week. The girls don’t know. We picked out the puppy together. I told them she was sold. She was sold. To us. Can’t wait to see Kaybree’s reaction when we surprise her on her birthday! The other day I was talking to J. He was hoping to buy a car with the $2,000 he has saved up. He was calling me constantly to get advice on different cars he found. There was one he was eager to go check out but it was far away and I could not drive him there. I told him “you have all sorts of friends. Isn’t there one who could take you?” He said, very seriously, “mom, I’ve made less friends.”