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Moving to Australia

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Written May 4, 2024

I haven’t been able to go to bed on time at all this week and it’s making me tired. And I had to spend a whole day in a training that was SO boring. And I was asked to write blogs for dry cleaners and I hate writing blogs for dry cleaners.
And there’s a mysterious stain on the carpet that I can’t get out and every time I try it just gets bigger and messier. 
And Brendon is fighting with his sister again and she won’t let him apologize and move forward and nothing he says matters and now none of her kids will talk to me and my kids want to see them but they can’t and it feels like everything we do is wrong in her eyes somehow and if they can’t get along we may have to cancel our summer vacation. And I was really looking forward to that vacation. 
And selling a house is difficult and I feel like we won’t be able to afford the new one but I’ve been holding out hope that it will work out and trust the process and then our appraisal came back $50,000 less than we needed it to and if we lose $50,000 off the selling price we can’t afford the new house and if we can’t afford the new house we have to walk away and if we walk away we lose $35,000. 
Some weeks are like this. Even in Australia.

I know it’s not good to focus on the bad but sometimes it’s just cathartic to write it all down and get it out of my head. Maybe in a few weeks or years I’ll be able to look back at this time—when I was stressed and depressed and worried—and see how it all turned out OK in the end.
I have no idea what we will do about the appraisal. It doesn’t make sense and honestly it puts us in a terrible position. But it’s really not the end of the world. Even if we lose the new house, we will be OK.

I really have been depressed lately. I don’t know what is happening with my hormones but I’m off. And I felt a desperate need to get to the temple and then when I went last week I cried almost the whole time. No one minds, by the way. You can cry in the temple. I cried for all my fears. I have so much fear right now. And I read King Benjamin’s speech to his people. And he promised if they had faith, it would all work out for their good. And I felt that. I have faith. I’m doing all I can. Now I just need to leave it in the Lord’s hands. 

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