A Place to Write

Eisley does not like the seat belt. She often avoids putting it on. She gets easily frustrated if it's twisted at all. We've discussed with her many times how important a seat belt is. It will save her life in a car accident. We want her to wear it because we want her to be safe. A few days ago we got into the car and I reminded the girls to buckle up. Several miles down the road we looked back and realized Eisley had chosen to ignore me. Brendon was annoyed and started with "Are you kidding me Eisley?!" and then jumped into "If we get into an accident you are dead. There would be no more life. Do you understand that?" And Eisley gave a pouty little face and said "There's a second coming." And then we both died laughing and couldn't seriously scold her any more. Eisley is so good at hearing something and remembering it and applying it. She's good at asking what certain words mean if she doesn't know them. She has always be...

It's amazing how quickly you can gain or lose a relationship. It takes so little effort. One harsh word or even harsh silence can make a person feel like you don't care. And then if the switch if flipped--if an apology is offered or you have a good conversation, that relationship can come right back. J gave us two months of silence. We felt rejected. We felt lost. We felt annoyed. We felt angry. And then, school came back in and we instituted new rules and he flipped a switch and suddenly we remember how good of a kid he is. He gave no explanation. He gave no apology. And yet here we are. Happy again. (Cautiously) I feel like there's a deeper life lesson here. I think there's an ideal concept of love where no matter how you are treated, you love and are confident and happy anyways. But I don't think that's realistic. I don't mean that I stopped loving J or myself during the silence. I loved us both. But I was not fully happy. I wonder what it takes to ...

It is so hard for me to believe you've been in our lives for a year! Aspen, you are the happiest baby I know. You have the greatest smile and you offer it to people whether they want it or not. I get the feeling you are going to be very social when you get older. Already you have a tendency to laugh and talk even if no one is joining you. If someone is joining you--great! A few nights ago you were walking along the couch and saw Brendon's shoes kicked up on the foot rest so you walked over and grabbed them and gave him this big mischievous grin. He was consumed with his phone and didn't notice but you just kept grabbing his feet and laughing and smiling, only pausing occasionally to get his reaction. It was so cute! (He did eventually give you the attention you were wanting) You did not hesitate at all to grab the entire cupcake and put it in your mouth. I remember Kaybree especially taking a few minutes to figure out if she liked the feeling of the frosting. You didn...

I was nervous all day yesterday. I didn't eat lunch. I hurried home as quickly as I could. It was the day of your review. Hard questions would be asked. Hard answers would be given. This could be an ending. But it wasn't. We sat and listened as the representative from the Department of Child Safety (DCS) asked the tough questions. You gave the same answers we've heard over and over again.  "It's going to be different this time because I'm going to try harder." "I'm going to keep my head down." "I'm going to do the work." "I don't need help." It's the same thing we heard when we sat and had a discussion before the start of last semester. Before your grades slipped into 30 percents--again. Before you racked up more than 70 absences in one semester. Before your bank account was over-drafted for the 10th time. But then all that happened anyways. I expected it to be difficult because I expected ...

We sleep in the same house each night but I'm pretty sure I've seen you for a total of 15 minutes in the past two weeks. If that. I keep trying to figure out why. I understand not wanting to celebrate Christmas with us. I hate it, but I can understand it and I can get over it. But no shared meals ever? No texts or check ins ever? The only phone calls I get lately seem to start off with "First things first, lady," when you're getting ready to defend yourself for something I nagged you about over text. I can't decide if this distance normal or if it is a coping mechanism, you pushing us away because you're afraid we are about to leave you anyways, or if you honestly just want to be done with us. How much do parents see their 18-year-old normally? Am I overreacting? I don't hear from you all day but you're home by curfew. Then it's a quick "hey" and straight up to your bedroom, door locked. Is that normal? Unfortunately you're at...

Christmas jammies! This little girl could eat all day every day. She is happy as a clam with a cookie in her hand. How can you say no to that little face? This is Kaybree's latest trick to get some snuggle time with Aspen. She does spider on the swing with her. Aspen loves it! Once she gets past the giggles and giant smiles she snuggles right in. I tried to get her to untuck the shirt.  We were not allowed to visit Kaybree and Eisley before or after their MCO choir performance so I made everyone take pictures that I could share with Kaybree later. Kaybree and Eisley did awesome in their MCO Christmas concert! Kaybree kept her eyes on the conductor the entire time during the first two songs but the next time she came out there was no conductor to watch. She did even better without one--when she was just singing what she knew!  Eisley saw Stetson and Stryker in the front row and watched them the entire time! There was one mom...

I have never been really close with my dad. It's not that I don't like him or have any hard feelings for him, he just has 8 kids and none of us are great at socializing. So it was strange this week to have a moment where I really felt like we related. He is opening a restaurant this month. No, that's not his background. He's a great cook and all but his professional skills are more in the IT world. but he's an entrepreneur and has this partner he really gets along with and they are opening this brewery and restaurant in downtown Mesa. We got to go to his media night and I got to see how excited he was as he showed us around and gave us the VIP treatment. I've been bugging him about his PR plan so he introduced me to their PR woman. turns out my dad's partner's wife volunteers where I work so I'm sure we'll work with them in the future on something to benefit the kids. As the samplers of food started coming around we sat and we asked my dad ...