It's amazing how quickly you can gain or lose a relationship. It takes so little effort. One harsh word or even harsh silence can make a person feel like you don't care. And then if the switch if flipped--if an apology is offered or you have a good conversation, that relationship can come right back.
J gave us two months of silence. We felt rejected. We felt lost. We felt annoyed. We felt angry. And then, school came back in and we instituted new rules and he flipped a switch and suddenly we remember how good of a kid he is.
He gave no explanation. He gave no apology. And yet here we are. Happy again. (Cautiously)
I feel like there's a deeper life lesson here. I think there's an ideal concept of love where no matter how you are treated, you love and are confident and happy anyways. But I don't think that's realistic. I don't mean that I stopped loving J or myself during the silence. I loved us both. But I was not fully happy. I wonder what it takes to reach that or if it's possible to feel whole and content even when the person you love is not actively showing love back--in fact when they are avoiding you and doing lots of things that drive you crazy. Is that even love? Or is it just contentment? I don't think it's a good thing to be content with losing a loved relationship. Maybe that discontent is the true sign of love.
Maybe the life lesson is on the other side. Maybe it's a lesson on how easy it is to make someone feel loved. A little more communication, a simple invite, a smile can all go so far. You don't have to explain the past. You don't have to be perfect. Just be present. Don't put them off.
J gave us two months of silence. We felt rejected. We felt lost. We felt annoyed. We felt angry. And then, school came back in and we instituted new rules and he flipped a switch and suddenly we remember how good of a kid he is.
He gave no explanation. He gave no apology. And yet here we are. Happy again. (Cautiously)
I feel like there's a deeper life lesson here. I think there's an ideal concept of love where no matter how you are treated, you love and are confident and happy anyways. But I don't think that's realistic. I don't mean that I stopped loving J or myself during the silence. I loved us both. But I was not fully happy. I wonder what it takes to reach that or if it's possible to feel whole and content even when the person you love is not actively showing love back--in fact when they are avoiding you and doing lots of things that drive you crazy. Is that even love? Or is it just contentment? I don't think it's a good thing to be content with losing a loved relationship. Maybe that discontent is the true sign of love.
Maybe the life lesson is on the other side. Maybe it's a lesson on how easy it is to make someone feel loved. A little more communication, a simple invite, a smile can all go so far. You don't have to explain the past. You don't have to be perfect. Just be present. Don't put them off.
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