A Place to Write

I got to go to Montessori House with you last week, Kaybree. I got to go into work just a little later so I decided to stick around after dropping you off and see what school is like. You showed me lots of "works." Little things like pouring water from a tiny tea pot into tiny cups or naming all the animals in the farm. The most impressive work was seeing you clean, peel and cut a carrot and then put the pieces on a tray and share them with your friends. The school really focuses on independence. You can do whatever "works" you want as long as the teacher has taught you how to do it first. If you haven't had a lesson you have to ask for it. As I watched you do the carrot work you said "This is a happy time that you are here with me." I didn't do anything that morning but follow you around and listen to you and watch you. There were so many times I wanted to take pictures but I didn't because I knew you wanted me to just be there. It was a re...

I love this new job. It's much longer hours, it takes a lot of bravery and I feel like I mess up a lot--but I love it. Wanted to write down an experience from a couple weeks ago. We had our newest batch of volunteers in for training on March 25. These people are taking time off work to sit in a classroom for 16 hours (8 each day) and hear all about how the system works--or doesn't work-- and learn all about trauma so they can help explain it to a child who has had their life turned upside down. It's such a cool experience to sit in the back of the room and look over 30-40 people and know these are people who are going to make a difference in the world. They just are. As I sat there listening to training a co-worker handed me a survey she had sent out to all of these people a week or so earlier, asking why they were interested in becoming a CASA and if they had any last-minute questions before they showed up for training. One woman's answers caught my eye. When ask...

Girls, some days are hard. Sometimes it's hard to be a mom. Sometimes it's hard to be a wife. Sometimes it's hard to be an adult. Sometimes things just suck. That is all. JK. I love our life but even in our mostly-wonderful life (I have an awesome job and the sweetest husband and the most adorable kids) we can't escape hard things. They're there. But this week as hard things have come up I've also noticed small tender mercies. I didn't know why I felt inspired to do something--but I did it and it led to some heart break for now but also some growth and healing and an answer to someone else's prayers. I don't know why my friend decided to text me the very next day and ask how I was doing but she did. She'll probably never know either but I did let her know it was inspired. Thing is I haven't felt incredibly close to the spirit in recent months. I haven't been studying my scriptures as much as I should be. I ha...

There is a constant stream of blog posts about working or not working moms. Most women post about the best decision they ever made to stay home with their babies and others post about feeling great accomplishment from working outside the home. Others write long posts about doing one but wishing they were doing the other. If all these blog posts prove anything it's that the choice is personal and is different for everyone. There's no right answer. But for me--I work. It's a choice. We could scrimp and save and get rid of a car and live on beans and rice and I could stay home. But I chose to work. I chose it for several reasons. I've probably written about it before but the discussion never seems to go away so let me remind you: 1. I like our lifestyle. We live a good life. I love to cook and I enjoy having the freedom to see a recipe online and think "Let's make that tonight!" and I'm able to go to the store and buy all the ingredients and make it--...

This year has been mostly great. There were times when I felt like it wasn't the greatest--but it was still great. I struggled for eight months to find a job, and I finally did and it's awesome and it's going to make me a better person and a better professional and just all around better. It's been difficult to adjust to the longer hours and my new responsibilities. It's not easy for Brendon to be home taking care of you girls all afternoon while I'm at the office but you two like him more now so that's a huge plus. you finally realize it's fun to play with daddy.     I've heard lots of people talk about simplifying Christmas and giving kids 4 kids: Something they need, something to wear, something to read and something to cherish. That word cherish is being defined differently. Some people are saying that's a want, like a toy, others are saying it's something that they will love more as they age, something sentimental.   I did not...