There are times when the girls say something with so much attitude and it hits me--they got that from J.
I think when we were originally getting licensed to foster that was a concern. How will this child we bring into our home effect our children? It's why I wanted to foster an older child. I didn't want my kids to feel like they have to compete and honestly I didn't want them hanging out so often that my child's innocence was colored.
I think J has been very respectful of our childrens' innocence and he does his best to keep swear words and things like that out of our home but he's still had an impact on our family. Mostly it's positive. I believe my girls notice people's differences but don't instantly judge a person because of their differences. I like seeing that process. They are more aware of good and bad but also aware of the grey in between and how someone's bad choices don't define them. I feel like I do the same.
But we also have a little more attitude. Eisley has adopted a "Because I can." attitude about a lot of issues. Kaybree is a little more attention seeking. It's mostly due to age but she is particularly excited to get attention from Jose and she typically does it through taunting. I've heard both girls utter meaningless threats that I'm not thrilled with because that's something J does casually.
For me I find myself much more stubborn than I use to be and quite a bit less trusting. When J first came to our home I was amazed how open and honest he was. Even if he was in trouble I felt like we could have an honest conversation about it and move forward. That has changed. The really honest conversations usually come during random late night talks. I can't request an honest conversation, I just have to be aware and available when one is coming my way.
I know now when he's in trouble he can easily lie to my face. He feels no guilt over it. It's an automatic response. I can't argue with it because his lie will only grow and my anger will grow and there will be no solution.
I also don't take excuses well. There's always an excuse with J. Sometimes they seem reasonable but when I've heard the same one 50 times over, it's no longer reasonable. I'm getting much better at holding him accountable. It's painful for me but he has taught me this skill.
I'm running out of time to make an impact on him. It makes each excuse hurt more because I know if there are too many more of these excuses he'll excuse himself right out of my life. I build up this attitude, this stubbornness, this mistrust. I hold him more accountable and more responsible. I have to because pretty soon he's only going to have himself to answer to and I know from personal experience that person can't be counted on.
I think when we were originally getting licensed to foster that was a concern. How will this child we bring into our home effect our children? It's why I wanted to foster an older child. I didn't want my kids to feel like they have to compete and honestly I didn't want them hanging out so often that my child's innocence was colored.
I think J has been very respectful of our childrens' innocence and he does his best to keep swear words and things like that out of our home but he's still had an impact on our family. Mostly it's positive. I believe my girls notice people's differences but don't instantly judge a person because of their differences. I like seeing that process. They are more aware of good and bad but also aware of the grey in between and how someone's bad choices don't define them. I feel like I do the same.
But we also have a little more attitude. Eisley has adopted a "Because I can." attitude about a lot of issues. Kaybree is a little more attention seeking. It's mostly due to age but she is particularly excited to get attention from Jose and she typically does it through taunting. I've heard both girls utter meaningless threats that I'm not thrilled with because that's something J does casually.
For me I find myself much more stubborn than I use to be and quite a bit less trusting. When J first came to our home I was amazed how open and honest he was. Even if he was in trouble I felt like we could have an honest conversation about it and move forward. That has changed. The really honest conversations usually come during random late night talks. I can't request an honest conversation, I just have to be aware and available when one is coming my way.
I know now when he's in trouble he can easily lie to my face. He feels no guilt over it. It's an automatic response. I can't argue with it because his lie will only grow and my anger will grow and there will be no solution.
I also don't take excuses well. There's always an excuse with J. Sometimes they seem reasonable but when I've heard the same one 50 times over, it's no longer reasonable. I'm getting much better at holding him accountable. It's painful for me but he has taught me this skill.
I'm running out of time to make an impact on him. It makes each excuse hurt more because I know if there are too many more of these excuses he'll excuse himself right out of my life. I build up this attitude, this stubbornness, this mistrust. I hold him more accountable and more responsible. I have to because pretty soon he's only going to have himself to answer to and I know from personal experience that person can't be counted on.
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