Skip to main content

Hope #1

I got an email from our licensing agency letting me know they've been going through their applicants and may have a child who they think is a good match for us. They don't have many details about his past at this point. (They gave me some hints but that's his story to tell.)

He's a 15-year-old Hispanic boy. He's on some medication. He's been living in a group home for just over a year. He has some siblings who have been adopted. It doesn't sound like he has lived with a family for a long time.

The email actually had a lot of information but it still left a LOT of questions. I think I'll always have a million questions in these situations.

I read it about a hundred times in a row. My mind is blank. I find myself piling up all the reasons it won't work. I find myself feeling guilty for that. I find my heart hurting for the life this boy has lived before. I feel hopeful about the life we could offer him.

I sent it to Brendon. We haven't had a chance to talk in depth about it yet, we just shot some texts back and forth. I asked how he felt and he said "Ready to meet him."

I have a feeling Brendon is going to be my rock throughout this. I don't know when he became so confident about his feelings and about his desire to help these kids but I admire it. I love it.

I told the agency we'd like to know more and set up a meeting. Unfortunately with Brendon's new job he has a few weeks of training that he has to accomplish before his schedule will have some flexibility again. And I'm also scrambling now to find after school programs that will work since it looks like Brendon will be working out in Glendale and won't be home till 7 on a good night and the earliest I can be home is 5.

We'll figure it out. That's what you do for your kids. You figure it out. And this boy could be our kid.

I told Katie some of the details and that it will still be a few weeks till we get more information. She said "At least you'll have a few weeks to decide." I'm not sure what there is to decide. How could we say no?

I talked to my boss, Nancy, about the kids we met last weekend and I expressed my grief of not taking them home--having to say no. She said "You can't un-know. And then you have to come to terms with what you do know and what are you going to do about it?"

I can't un-know. I know this boy wants a family. I know I can provide that. There is nothing to decide. We just have hope.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

So different

The older you get the more your different personalities are coming out. It's so fun! Kaybree has always wanted to be just like all the big girls she sees. You want to do what everyone else does and you fit right in! You go with the flow very well but you do your best to lead--while following. I know that doesn't make a ton of sense but basically you're the leader of the crowd. You follow everyone else but you don't let anyone step on you. You know you're the cutest thing around and you flaunt it a little bit. You pretend to be shy (because that's the cool thing to do) but you're excited to tell everyone all about your boo boos or the puppies you saw at the mall or anything else going on in your life. This week you started preschool and you were so excited. As soon as we got there you followed Teagan right inside, waving and calling goodbye to me as you went. No hesitation. You know what to do and you do it. You're attending Montessori House in Lehi f...

My biggest challenge

I’m a writer by trade. I’ve always wanted to be a writer. I love to put my feelings into words. Yet, in the last month, I’ve been having a very difficult time vocalizing what’s happening in my life. It’s not because it’s been sad or difficult or anything like that. It’s mostly because there is someone new in my life who I care very deeply for who I feel this deep need to protect. I want to protect his identity, his story, his life. I don’t want to overstep any boundaries or crush any trust. I recognize the life he has lived has not been easy and so I tread lightly on this relationship we’ve built. But honestly—it’s a fantastic relationship. He’s an amazing kid. I’ve been asked to write a blog post for an organization that helps recruit foster parents about the first few weeks of being a foster parent. I’m having difficulty deciding what to write. I feel like anything I write about my case probably won’t apply to their case so it’s not very helpful. I keep writing drafts and then...

Careers

"So I've got a friend, who I met at Frys. He's an older guy. He's got a car he wants to give me and soon he's starting a business so when I'm 18 and a half or 19 I think I'm going to move out and move in with him and work for him." "Doing what?" "I don't really know but he's going to have this business." "OK. Well, good luck with that. Get it in writing and get a title for the car." I walked away just shaking my head. Silently I thought "At least he didn't tell me he's going to become a rapper. He might as well though... A couple hours later I talked with him again. "OK, so I've been texting him and finding out more about this job." "OK." "So he's going to be a rapper. And he says we'll find something for me to do, something I'm good at. Something that will make me $1,000 a day and I can probably start doing it from home--maybe finding new beats online....