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Assessing risks

I love to travel. I love experiencing new things, seeing new things and stepping outside of my every day. To me it's a slight adrenaline rush. You never know what could happen but I feel confident following the example of people who have gone before me. If a place is generally safe for most people, I feel comfortable going there and I enjoy every second of it.

It's not the same for J. You'd think a child who has lived with more families than he can count would have no problem adjusting to new cultures or people--yet he hates travelling out of state.

Street smarts don't transfer, he explained. That only leaves him one card to play--physical strength--if he gets into any trouble.

He's assessing his risks in a very different way than me. His survival instincts tell him to stay in his safe zone. Stay where he knows the laws, the culture and the general rules. Stay put.

He told me last night his life has gotten a little boring and he's not sure how he feels about that. Logically he knows it's a good thing but it's outside his comfort zone. It's been almost three years that he has been with us. He has stability.

I challenged him if he wants to add some excitement to his life to join a club or a sport, try harder at work or learn a new skill. He told me he doesn't have time for that--and then quickly smirked and looked down, knowing full-well that that is a lie.

Maybe as he learns to venture outside his comfort zone from this place of stability, in healthy ways, he'll eventually become more comfortable with leaving Arizona as well.

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