I've had a little bit of writer's block. Not sure how much to share or what to share. J has been in our home for two and a half weeks. He's still a great kid. No regrets.
I have been able to confirm a few rumors people tried to warn me about:
Teenage boys eat a lot. J's snack of choice is cereal and he will go through a box a day if we let him. We set a limit of two bowls--and suddenly our large serving bowls are being used. We told him if he runs out of cereal by Tuesday he'll have to find something else for breakfast.
Teenage boys smell. Sometimes they need to be told this. It's not offensive when it's true.
Teenage boys are loud. A house full of crazy teenage boys is crazy. Even when I send them outside I'm afraid they'll wake up the neighbors. They run and chase and jump on the trampoline and they are LOUD.
Some other rumors I've been able to confirm:
DCS is a tricky organization. They have so much that they HAVE to do because they have to pass any scrutiny. I don't blame the case managers--we have a very good one, but the system itself is rough. The rules are so dense and so much has to be done to appear perfect on paper.
The system is unfair to kids. J has no complaints about his past or any of the places he has lived or families he has been a part of but his past has been rough. Really rough. Even in the most positive lens there's no way to sugar coat what he has been through. He can't believe I have friends I've known since I was five or that I see people who I went to high school with on the street and I recognize them--because I lived in the same house my entire childhood with lots of the same people in my neighborhood too. That's not something he has experienced.
Things that have surprised me:
J has no difficulty making friends. He has quite a few from his new school. He spends all night on the phone talking to them and brings them over to our house often.
Our house is the hang out spot. I always dreamed that it would be but honestly it wasn't happening with just me and Brendon. People make our house messy. Our house does not get messy. But these days it is messy. Just this morning I picked up a handful of fruit snack and granola bar wrappers off the ground in our backyard. They are reminders of the four loud teenage boys who jumped and ran and laughed out loud on that yard. I guess that's ok.
Girls are nuts too. Everyone talks about boys with their raging hormones but so far it's been the girls not-so-subtly flirting with J over social media. It's a little scary. I am really grateful that he's not shy about telling me when these girls contact him and what they say. When I gave him his phone I set up some pretty obvious no-sexting rules. I hope other parents have done the same.
Honestly, I'm having fun. It makes me feel young having a teenage son. I get to reminisce on what it was like to be a teenager and I try to relearn Algebra a little bit each night. It's awkward at times. Brendon and I have pretty high expectations for how we treat our home and our possessions and it's tough to remember not everyone is as careful or neat as we are. But it's good. All good.
I have been able to confirm a few rumors people tried to warn me about:
Teenage boys eat a lot. J's snack of choice is cereal and he will go through a box a day if we let him. We set a limit of two bowls--and suddenly our large serving bowls are being used. We told him if he runs out of cereal by Tuesday he'll have to find something else for breakfast.
Teenage boys smell. Sometimes they need to be told this. It's not offensive when it's true.
Teenage boys are loud. A house full of crazy teenage boys is crazy. Even when I send them outside I'm afraid they'll wake up the neighbors. They run and chase and jump on the trampoline and they are LOUD.
Some other rumors I've been able to confirm:
DCS is a tricky organization. They have so much that they HAVE to do because they have to pass any scrutiny. I don't blame the case managers--we have a very good one, but the system itself is rough. The rules are so dense and so much has to be done to appear perfect on paper.
The system is unfair to kids. J has no complaints about his past or any of the places he has lived or families he has been a part of but his past has been rough. Really rough. Even in the most positive lens there's no way to sugar coat what he has been through. He can't believe I have friends I've known since I was five or that I see people who I went to high school with on the street and I recognize them--because I lived in the same house my entire childhood with lots of the same people in my neighborhood too. That's not something he has experienced.
Things that have surprised me:
J has no difficulty making friends. He has quite a few from his new school. He spends all night on the phone talking to them and brings them over to our house often.
Our house is the hang out spot. I always dreamed that it would be but honestly it wasn't happening with just me and Brendon. People make our house messy. Our house does not get messy. But these days it is messy. Just this morning I picked up a handful of fruit snack and granola bar wrappers off the ground in our backyard. They are reminders of the four loud teenage boys who jumped and ran and laughed out loud on that yard. I guess that's ok.
Girls are nuts too. Everyone talks about boys with their raging hormones but so far it's been the girls not-so-subtly flirting with J over social media. It's a little scary. I am really grateful that he's not shy about telling me when these girls contact him and what they say. When I gave him his phone I set up some pretty obvious no-sexting rules. I hope other parents have done the same.
Honestly, I'm having fun. It makes me feel young having a teenage son. I get to reminisce on what it was like to be a teenager and I try to relearn Algebra a little bit each night. It's awkward at times. Brendon and I have pretty high expectations for how we treat our home and our possessions and it's tough to remember not everyone is as careful or neat as we are. But it's good. All good.
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