Skip to main content

Dinner with J

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1bTZCovFmqVf3od5QoZXN56SkqjyT5gTt 
I took this photo mid-sword fight tonight. *No one was hit by the broom.
J text me this morning and asked if we had dinner plans. I invited him over and he quickly accepted. He has a new job and has lost some weight. It’s been a while since we caught up.

When we were first gettin licensed Kaybree was 5 and Eisley was 3. We knew we wanted a teenage boy. It seemed like nearly everyone asked us if that was wise. I’ve often reflected on that. 
Yes, teenage boys have hormones. They can be rough and smelly and use bad language. They can also be so fun.

Kaybree and Eisley and even Aspen all look forward to visits from J. Seeing them talk and laugh during dinner tonight made my heart swell.

Sometimes when I talk about our foster experience I feel like I need to add a caveat. Yes—we enjoyed it and we love J BUT we did not save him. He did not graduate high school. He did not choose to live with us until age 21. I am not the only woman he calls “Mom” (although I may be the only “mother”). But I’ve learned that’s NOT what fostering is about. You don’t save a child by keeping them on the path you desire for them. You save them by loving them unconditionally and proving to them that that love is possible. It’s nice to know that even if I failed to show that (although I would argue I did not fail in that regard) that my girls are there to pick up the slack. They love him wholeheartedly. And that is worth risking all the teenage hormones! 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Work stuff

 My job is difficult to describe to people outside of non-profits so I usually don't. I say I'm a Grant Writer--because I am, but to some people that means a lot and to others it means nothing. I don't get too many people who are interested. To be truthful, I do think grant writing is a spectacular professional that takes a lot of skill. Not only do you have to be an excellent writer, able to tell the stories of the organization in a way that is interesting and inspiring, but you also have to be savvy enough to find your way around hundreds of different online portals (none of which are user friendly) and be diligent enough to meet strict deadlines and compile loads and loads of paperwork. At my organization we submit about 15-30 applications every month and every single application has different requirements and expectations in order to receive funding. The work doesn't stop when an application is turned in. Once we get that funding it adds another to-do to our list, m...

I did it!

Today, I achieved a great professional achievement. I got my CFRE. It’s a big deal.  Brendon is out of town so I took the girls to get sushi to celebrate. This was our conversation on the way home.  *Passed by a Husband and Wife Law Team billboard Eisley: That dude wears suspenders. I would not call them first. I would call Jonathan first.  Me: I would call Brother Briggs first because he’s a criminal defense lawyer. Jon does HOA law which would not be very useful. Eisley: Ooo yeah. I feel like I’m going to be that kid some day. I’d call Brittany because she has experience, then Bro Briggs.  Me: You’re going to be the one to call to hide a body?  Eisley: Yeah. I’ll probably already be hiding one. I feel like I’m the Brittany, Aspen is Brodie, Kaybree is Dad.  Kaybree: Hmmm, I’m not sure. Aspen—do you like girls? Aspen: What? Kaybree: Just, would you like to marry a girl one day? Aspen: No.  Eisley: If you did, we would love her.  And then we all l...

Tearful moments

In January I cried through my appointments with my oncology doctor and surgeons. The whole idea of having a preventative mastectomy was overwhelming.  I made my peace with it. I made a plan for myself. Work slows down near the end of the year and we get all sorts of holidays so I thought if I could take my time off then, I would be fine. I made it through two whole doctor's appointments with no tears and no fear, because I had a plan, and then today that was messed up. My doctor told me reconstruction could take up to three months--which means I can't do the surgery when I originally planned if I want to get it all done in one calendar year (for insurance purposes). She suggested moving it up to August. That is next month. And if we do the surgery in August that means our family trip we have planned for October--it's a no. Camping trip I planned for September? Probably not. And honestly that all makes me more upset than anything. And suddenly I'm crying again.  I want t...