Skip to main content

Mom from afar

By

 J dropped out of high school and took a travelling construction job. 

He was miserable living in the home he was at and struggling to get by working at KFC. He never wanted to live away from AZ but told me now he had to survive. 

He goes to the job site and lives out of a motel for weeks at a time, working 50 hours or more per week, and then returns to Arizona for a few days. During those days he lives with his friend Hunter, who he has always considered his family. When I learned he had moved in with them I was hurt. I knew he wanted to live with them years ago and they just weren't in a position to say yes. I'm glad they finally did say yes because it's the place he feels most comfortable and I want that for him.

On Mother's Day the only message I got from J was asking if he got any mail. When I delivered it the response was "Thanks." and the door shut in my face. No Happy Mother's Day. No real acknowledgment at all.  

I tried to convince myself I couldn't take it personally but I also felt like that was the end of him even considering me one of his many mothers. 

I'm not sure what happened this month but J did text Brendon for Father's Day and on Tuesday he called me from California. He called to tell me he was making good money and he wanted my help to save some of it for a car or a place of his own. This level of trust is a big deal. For the past year he has held tight to a lot of information. He didn't want anyone to know where he was living or how much money he was making. Even the people he was living with didn't have that information--because he didn't want them asking for more money for rent. 

He also called to vent about his job. He loves it, loves the consistent work, but of course he's not a fan of some of the people he works with.

His job position is a mucker. He helps set up space for concrete to be poured and when it is poured he steps into it to make sure there are no bubbles and that it all is spread level. 

At night he smokes, sometimes drinks, and hangs out with the other guys watching TV and playing video games.  

We talked for a half hour. He was well spoken. Sometimes when he's struggling his language struggles too but he sounded good. 

I remember when he first moved into our house and he would sometimes call his old group home manager just to chat--because he considered him a father figure. I always wondered if I would ever get to that level with him... and then he called.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Eisley babysitting

By
Eisley had her first solo babysitting gig tonight. She and kaybree babysat together over the summer and that same family asked if Eisley could babysit for them and Kaybree babysit for their friends while they went to a game night tonight. Kaybree’s job ended up canceling but Eisley still got to go. The kids were already asleep when she got there, so she just had to sit around and wait. The job was supposed to be done at 10:30 but I got a text from the mom around 10:20 asking if 11 would be OK.  “I texted Eisley but didn’t hear back so just wanted to make sure it was OK!” I said yes, of course, but then my mind got spinning. Why didn’t Eisley text back? I sent her a text. No response. I called. No answer. I called again. Nothing.  By then, I knew Eisley had to be asleep and I also know Eisley sleeps like a rock. I didn’t want them coming home to that.  Their house is right around the corner so I walked over and prayed they left the door unlocked. They did! As soon as I wal...
Post a Comment
Read more

I did it!

By
Today, I achieved a great professional achievement. I got my CFRE. It’s a big deal.  Brendon is out of town so I took the girls to get sushi to celebrate. This was our conversation on the way home.  *Passed by a Husband and Wife Law Team billboard Eisley: That dude wears suspenders. I would not call them first. I would call Jonathan first.  Me: I would call Brother Briggs first because he’s a criminal defense lawyer. Jon does HOA law which would not be very useful. Eisley: Ooo yeah. I feel like I’m going to be that kid some day. I’d call Brittany because she has experience, then Bro Briggs.  Me: You’re going to be the one to call to hide a body?  Eisley: Yeah. I’ll probably already be hiding one. I feel like I’m the Brittany, Aspen is Brodie, Kaybree is Dad.  Kaybree: Hmmm, I’m not sure. Aspen—do you like girls? Aspen: What? Kaybree: Just, would you like to marry a girl one day? Aspen: No.  Eisley: If you did, we would love her.  And then we all l...
Post a Comment
Read more

Brendon

By
I scheduled my original screening on Friday and had a big mental crash Saturday night. Feels like I can't breathe. I was counting down the hours until I could just get to my appointment. I also couldn't keep the tears from my eyes and finally Brendon noticed. He held me and let me cry and just shrugged and said "We'll figure it out." I know we've always had that relationship. That no matter what comes in our marriage, we will figure it out, but it feels deeper now. Because no matter what happens to me he is for sure stuck with me! Haha Our lives are too deep, too interconnected to ever take a step back. How lovely it is to know he's mine forever and ever. He gave me a blessing and I woke up feeling better. And now my appointment has been pushed back an entire month, to a time when Brendon cannot come with me, and that anxious feeling is creeping in again. But I can breathe through it. Because we can do this. We'll figure it out. 
Post a Comment
Read more