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Would you do it?

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Would you do it?

"My teenage son’s friend asked to live with us. He’s 18 but decided to stay in foster care to finish high school. I know he has a failed adoption in his past. We have 3 young kids. Would you say yes?"

I’ve been asked by a few people if I knew now what I knew then, would I have fostered? At times my answer hasn’t been clear but today I got that clarity. I read that message posted in a Facebook group and I realized the poster was talking about J. He approached another family about moving in with them. And I told her I would say yes.

Isn’t that weird? I told another person to say yes to going through what I’ve gone through. I told her he won’t stick around. He’s not good in school. He deliberately broke my heart. But he’s a good kid.

I think J senses a change in me. I just don’t know how to move forward in this moment. I don’t want to stop him from moving on but all my human instincts are to be offended. How dare he leave us and find a new family? How dare he tell me he wants to stay in my life while he replaces my role. How does one cope with that?

I don’t want him to feel bad. Even if he changed his mind I won’t let him stay. I don’t want him to. I can’t let him break my heart any more. I have to move forward. How does one explain that? How does one do that?

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