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Our first born

I think there's general confusion over how to mourn the loss of a dog. Everyone knows dogs don't live forever so it seems every dog lover loses at least one in their lifetime. Dogs are family members. How do you honor their memory but also move forward?

We had a great trip to Disneyland this week. While we were there J let us know Bently was acting strange back home. He couldn't get him to get up and it was starting to rain. Bently just wanted to stay in the rain. Eventually, with David's help, he got him inside. J left that night and we returned the next day to find Bently unresponsive on the ground, covered in blood and poop and pee. He was breathing and would open his eyes but he didn't lift his head to greet us.

Brendon started sobbing instantly and as soon as I came inside I knew it was the end for Bently. At first I tried to get the girls to stay outside but then I thought they should be allowed to say goodbye. I let them in and we all cried together while I called Brittany to come get the girls so Brendon and I could get to the pet hospital.

We got Bently to walk just enough to hose him off and put him in the van. At the pet hospital they loaded him onto a gurney and wheeled him inside. I give credit to the staff at the pet hospital. They were prepared to meet us at the door and usher us into a back room. The room was comfortable and light. They gave us time to say goodbye privately to Bently and gave us options for cremation. We selected to have a clay paw print made and asked for his collar back too. We were present when they administered the medication and Bently went quickly and painlessly.

Now we are stuck in a weird space. We've always been dog people. We've always had a dog. For years Bently was our only child. We planned vacations around where we could take him. We went to the dog park every Saturday with him as a puppy. We entered him into neighborhood dog shows (and he won!) He was the best dog. He didn't like to eat in public but he loved to be pet. He never even snapped or growled at kids. He had a very clown-like attitude. He was completely carefree. He was a big talker--not barker. If we tried to kick him off the bed or get him to move out of a comfy spot, we heard his complaints. It wasn't a growl, it was a grumble and a moan. His face was so expressive.

When you have a dog you bond so closely with--how do you move forward from that? We don't want to replace Bently. We don't want to forget him. At the same time, we are dog people. We want to be dog people. We want our kids to be dog people. We feel like there's this hole in our lives and yet we don't want to try to replace it right away with a puppy.

















































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