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Never suppress a generous thought

I write to vent and to help myself cope but I would never want anyone to read through my posts and think this is it. Life is not a series of heartbreaks. In fact, most nights I lay down in bed and think my life is pretty darn near perfect.




I was not expecting a date that weekend. It was just a Saturday night in September. I came home from grocery shopping with a plan for dinner. But you threw it out the window and suddenly the girls were off to a sitter and I was opening the door to Melissa and Kyle.

I still didn't understand what was happening until we pulled up to Goodwill and suddenly I knew.

You sir, are the best at surprises. And I love surprises so I guess that makes us a great match. So a few weeks ago we re-created our first date. Ten years ago you asked me on a double date. You picked me up in your step dad's big truck and we drove to DI. We bought ridiculous outfits for each other and then returned to your home to try them on and ride around the neighborhood on tandem bikes. I still have the shirt you picked out for me. The pants you selected were size large. They actually ended up being a pretty good fit on you!

We rode the bikes to a park and swung on the swings. I remember having so much fun with you and your smile being so big.

We went back to your house and played sidewalk pictionary. You and I won. Then we played Apples to Apples.

Back then you were too nervous to eat on dates so we didn't eat any food. We just enjoyed each other's company and I loved every second of it.

On the 10th anniversary we doubled with my best friend (instead of yours). We bought clothes from Goodwill and replaced the bike ride with dinner at Jalapeno Bucks. It was amazing. We also skipped sidewalk pictionary, mostly due to my size and the difficulty I might face bending over to draw on the sidewalk. I think I laughed just as much as I did on our first date 10 years ago. I'm so glad you've never stopped being romantic and creative and fun. I'm so glad you asked me on that date 10 years ago. I love you so much!



A week or so later we drove to Prescott to enjoy a cabin with your family. I love long, quiet car rides with you. It always gives us the chance to reflect on where we've been and ask "Where do you see us in five years?"

We don't have a clear answer at the moment. Finally life is stable. Dreams have been made reality. Things are going good.

We could move in a few years. We're both open to that. We'd like to be out of debt and we have a plan to conquer that. We'll have another baby. J will probably have moved out within the next two years.

It's amazing as we look back how wonderful life has been. We've never been in a big argument. We still truly enjoy spending time together. There's nothing about our marriage that causes concern. We're fully committed to each other and fully committed to choosing love each and every day.

When we were dating we bought a book with 200 questions to ask before marriage. I remember talking on the phone the whole time I was in Hawaii and answering as many as applied to us. Our answers were always in sync. I don't believe in "the one." I believe you choose to love who you love. That's how you make it work. You choose to. Now, obviously it has to go both ways. Both partners have to choose. One cannot be looking for the next best thing to come along or still out there searching for their soul mate. I do believe there are other people we could both be happy with--because we are reasonable, lovely people and there are many other reasonable, lovely people in the world. But I'm happy you chose me. I'm happy to choose you. I love you, Brendon!

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