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Intentional kindness

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I'm crying in my work parking lot. And the image I have in my head is of you laughing at me. Laughing for caring. Laughing at my sensitivity. Laughing at my beliefs.

Because I believe in kindness. I believe in treating others the way I would like to be treated. Always.

I don't steal. I don't use words that are offensive to others. I don't put myself in any situation that could possibly cause harm to another human. I've never been in a situation where I felt like in order to survive, I had to hurt someone else. You have.

And so now your mind is tainted. The urge to steal is always present. Doing whatever you need to do to be comfortable is what is most important.

And that breaks my heart. Because I believe you are good and it feels like through that conversation you are doing all you can to convince me otherwise. You cannot see the good in the world.

While on the surface I'm hurt because you LITERALLY laughed and said "don't put your beliefs on me" when I said I believe everyone should try to make the world a better place, deep down I'm hurting because I think you said that to push me away. To convince me you will never care about me the way I care about you. And in this moment it worked.

I hope some day we're able to find our common beliefs. I hope we'll be able to look back at this conversation and laugh about how hard you tried to push me away. Because it didn't work. I hope by then you'll be taking every opportunity to be kind to someone because you know, from watching me, how important it is.

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