Skip to main content

Do what you can

By

I'm feeling depressed tonight and when I feel that way it's time to write. Today Brendon and I volunteered with Foster Arizona. We acted as guides to 10 kids in foster care as they explored Wildlife World Zoo and Aquarium.

We were randomly assigned to a group of kids. They were a group of older boys and then two teenage girls from a separate group home. There was also one adorable six year old boy. The main group of boys live in a group home for "at risk" and LGBT youth. That means they are kids with "behaviors" that no family has been comfortable with.

We had a great day with the boys. They listened well, were patient when they needed to be and they all seemed to be enjoying each thing they experienced at the zoo. They were eager to be there and they enjoyed being together.

And they were like that all day, yet, I'm feeling depressed tonight. Because I met a great group of kids and I still know they are highly likely to turn 18 without having found a permanent family.

One boy in particular, who identifies as a girl, went on a ride with Brendon and when he mentioned we had just gotten licensed she didn't hesitate to ask if we would take her. By the end of our time together she had told all the group home staff that she wanted to go live with us. Imagine that. This is a 15 year old who has spent time in juvie, who was removed from her home for who knows what reason and (we found out through her conversation with Brendon) has a good working knowledge of pornography. She had just met us and yet was excited to come and live with us.

She told me she hates living in a group home with so many other kids.

We cannot take that girl home. All the group home staff warned us that she has extreme behaviors. (Which was really sad to hear from them too.) I cannot risk exposing my girls to those behaviors. I hate admitting that. But if I did not have kids right now I would take her home in a heartbeat. Because I know she is exactly the kind of kid that is going to age out of the system. She is not going to get a family. And that's not fair.

I left with the profound impression that every child in that group was likely to age out of the system. Some were on the autism spectrum. One was 17 already. Then there was that girl. They all want a family. They are eager for a family. For some stabilty.

When we shared these thoughts with Katie and Robert, Robert did his best to comfort us by saying you just have to remember you do what you can, where you can. It was a good day of service. The kids had fun. I have to take comfort in that. But I may always be haunted by those kids we can't help.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Eisley babysitting

By
Eisley had her first solo babysitting gig tonight. She and kaybree babysat together over the summer and that same family asked if Eisley could babysit for them and Kaybree babysit for their friends while they went to a game night tonight. Kaybree’s job ended up canceling but Eisley still got to go. The kids were already asleep when she got there, so she just had to sit around and wait. The job was supposed to be done at 10:30 but I got a text from the mom around 10:20 asking if 11 would be OK.  “I texted Eisley but didn’t hear back so just wanted to make sure it was OK!” I said yes, of course, but then my mind got spinning. Why didn’t Eisley text back? I sent her a text. No response. I called. No answer. I called again. Nothing.  By then, I knew Eisley had to be asleep and I also know Eisley sleeps like a rock. I didn’t want them coming home to that.  Their house is right around the corner so I walked over and prayed they left the door unlocked. They did! As soon as I wal...
Post a Comment
Read more

I did it!

By
Today, I achieved a great professional achievement. I got my CFRE. It’s a big deal.  Brendon is out of town so I took the girls to get sushi to celebrate. This was our conversation on the way home.  *Passed by a Husband and Wife Law Team billboard Eisley: That dude wears suspenders. I would not call them first. I would call Jonathan first.  Me: I would call Brother Briggs first because he’s a criminal defense lawyer. Jon does HOA law which would not be very useful. Eisley: Ooo yeah. I feel like I’m going to be that kid some day. I’d call Brittany because she has experience, then Bro Briggs.  Me: You’re going to be the one to call to hide a body?  Eisley: Yeah. I’ll probably already be hiding one. I feel like I’m the Brittany, Aspen is Brodie, Kaybree is Dad.  Kaybree: Hmmm, I’m not sure. Aspen—do you like girls? Aspen: What? Kaybree: Just, would you like to marry a girl one day? Aspen: No.  Eisley: If you did, we would love her.  And then we all l...
Post a Comment
Read more

Brendon

By
I scheduled my original screening on Friday and had a big mental crash Saturday night. Feels like I can't breathe. I was counting down the hours until I could just get to my appointment. I also couldn't keep the tears from my eyes and finally Brendon noticed. He held me and let me cry and just shrugged and said "We'll figure it out." I know we've always had that relationship. That no matter what comes in our marriage, we will figure it out, but it feels deeper now. Because no matter what happens to me he is for sure stuck with me! Haha Our lives are too deep, too interconnected to ever take a step back. How lovely it is to know he's mine forever and ever. He gave me a blessing and I woke up feeling better. And now my appointment has been pushed back an entire month, to a time when Brendon cannot come with me, and that anxious feeling is creeping in again. But I can breathe through it. Because we can do this. We'll figure it out. 
Post a Comment
Read more