The further we get into our foster care journey the more I realize how alone we are. I don't know of any other couple like us out there. We're a young couple, both working full time and we have two little girls of our own at home. And yet-- we're going to foster. And we're going to foster an older child. One that's probably had trouble before.
I've done my research. I've found blogs and Facebook groups and more blogs with people who've fostered for years and are sharing their experiences, bringing together a community of people who foster. Still, I haven't found anyone exactly like us.
I have found couples who've adopted older kids. But it's usually a kid they knew, through a youth program or mentoring or a neighbor who ended up in need and they took them in, naturally. There's nothing natural about what we are taking on. We're opening our home up to a complete stranger. One that doesn't reasonably fit into the mold of our family. Birth order is going to be all messed up. It doesn't make sense.
Yet--I'm really excited. I'm excited for this mess we are about to create. It will be a mess. But their life has been a mess already anyways, right?
I think that's ok. It's ok to feel a little alone. That part, at least, is normal. I think everyone looks at their own life sometimes and thinks "I don't know anyone like me." And I don't. I don't have a "tribe" of friends who are all just like me. Most Mormon girls my age are at home with their three kids, trying to wrangle together play dates and possibly selling some multi-level marketing crap on the side. Those girls probably look at other girls and think "No one is like me. No one else is struggling to make ends meet. No one's kids are as crazy as mine. No one has as few friends as me."
Most girls my age are traveling or working and dating a bunch of different guys trying to find one that sticks. They probably live alone or with roommates and don't have too much responsibility outside of work. They probably look at other girls and think "No one is as lost as me. No one is as hopelessly single as me. No one does the every day things that I do."
I think we're all a little lonely. I think we all could use a few more friends. (Then again, who has time for friends?) And if I were a typical Mormon girl I'd end this post with an inspiring quote about how one person understands us completely. He has felt what we are feeling. He will always know what we are going through. But I don't have a quote like that right now. So I'll just say, that loneliness is normal. You are probably never as weird as you think you are. It's all going to work out.
I can't wait to share my crazy with other people so hopefully they'll hear my story and it will resonate with them and their story will resonate with me and we can all be a little better for it and we can all feel a little less alone.
We had our home inspection yesterday. We missed a few things so our agency will have to come back out and do a double check for us. Other than that we're good to go. In January we'll start meeting some kids. We'll start changing our life. Cause, why not?
I've done my research. I've found blogs and Facebook groups and more blogs with people who've fostered for years and are sharing their experiences, bringing together a community of people who foster. Still, I haven't found anyone exactly like us.
I have found couples who've adopted older kids. But it's usually a kid they knew, through a youth program or mentoring or a neighbor who ended up in need and they took them in, naturally. There's nothing natural about what we are taking on. We're opening our home up to a complete stranger. One that doesn't reasonably fit into the mold of our family. Birth order is going to be all messed up. It doesn't make sense.
Yet--I'm really excited. I'm excited for this mess we are about to create. It will be a mess. But their life has been a mess already anyways, right?
I think that's ok. It's ok to feel a little alone. That part, at least, is normal. I think everyone looks at their own life sometimes and thinks "I don't know anyone like me." And I don't. I don't have a "tribe" of friends who are all just like me. Most Mormon girls my age are at home with their three kids, trying to wrangle together play dates and possibly selling some multi-level marketing crap on the side. Those girls probably look at other girls and think "No one is like me. No one else is struggling to make ends meet. No one's kids are as crazy as mine. No one has as few friends as me."
Most girls my age are traveling or working and dating a bunch of different guys trying to find one that sticks. They probably live alone or with roommates and don't have too much responsibility outside of work. They probably look at other girls and think "No one is as lost as me. No one is as hopelessly single as me. No one does the every day things that I do."
I think we're all a little lonely. I think we all could use a few more friends. (Then again, who has time for friends?) And if I were a typical Mormon girl I'd end this post with an inspiring quote about how one person understands us completely. He has felt what we are feeling. He will always know what we are going through. But I don't have a quote like that right now. So I'll just say, that loneliness is normal. You are probably never as weird as you think you are. It's all going to work out.
I can't wait to share my crazy with other people so hopefully they'll hear my story and it will resonate with them and their story will resonate with me and we can all be a little better for it and we can all feel a little less alone.
We had our home inspection yesterday. We missed a few things so our agency will have to come back out and do a double check for us. Other than that we're good to go. In January we'll start meeting some kids. We'll start changing our life. Cause, why not?
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