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Happy anniversary

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I'm the worst. The worst, worst, worst. I'll stay up at night worrying about if I packed the right lunch for kaybree or making lists in my head of everything I need to get for the luncheon after Aspen's blessing. I'll spend all day making the perfect bow to match her dress. And all I've done for our 10th Anniversary is think of what I could say in a sweetly worded text in the morning--and even that I failed to do because I'm so upset.

I'm upset because you are the best and I am the worst. Because I woke up this morning, the morning of our 10th anniversary, and found a beautiful necklace and card in the bathroom waiting for me. And I have nothing for you. No gift.

I always struggle because you're always telling me to stop spending money and even if I spent it, what can I spend it on? You have way too many ties to wear. I have no idea what shoes to get you. I always get you a shirt and you eventually hate them too. There's no jewelry I can get you. I could organize a date tonight but we're going on a date for your birthday tomorrow and that's too much time away from the kids. I don't even want to buy you a card because I think cards are such a waste of money.

You planned a trip for us to Flagstaff. I'd love to get you something fun to do there but we'll have the baby and no babysitter so we can't do much. What happened to us taking turns planning for our anniversary? I loved being the one to make that plan!

And now I'm mad at you because I'm holding back tears. I want so badly to show you how much you mean to me and I can't. Anything I do now will just be stupid. I'm so upset I have to blog about it for goodness sake!

Brendon, you mean the world to me. There's no one I would rather be married to. You're the best friend to have on an adventure. I love exploring with you and experiencing new things with you. You share my sense of humor so perfectly. I love laughing with you. You are so giving. You take such good care of me, even when you don't want to. You're always thinking of me and I'm so grateful for that. You are the perfect balance for me. You keep me grounded, support me when I'm in over my head, and hold me accountable when I make a mess. And you're always thinking about me--even when I'm caught up with life.

I love you so much. I can't believe it's been 10 years. Happy anniversary,  babe! Can't wait for an eternity more!

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