A Place to Write

Eisley was a surprise. We're not shy about that. I was on birth control and Kaybree had just turned 1 when I found out I was pregnant with #2. I'd only had one period in between. Brendon couldn't wrap his mind around it for the entire pregnancy. We had to move and when we did we had nothing set up. Didn't help that she came 2.5 weeks early. After Eisley we felt like maybe there was one more waiting for us--but not yet. I was still young. We had time. Maybe we'd have another later. And then years passed. Brendon swore off having more children. We decided to foster. We moved. I got rid of every baby item I owned. We proclaimed that we were done... And then I started getting baby hungry. I shook off the feelings ok but kept it in the back of my mind. And then Brendon told me he had gotten this feeling that we might want one more baby. And then about a week later he turned to me during sacrament meeting and said "I think we should have a baby." That wa...

You thought the question was stupid. It was hidden among 50 questions in a survey meant to determine which life skills you could use help developing. "Do you know how to clean a bathroom?" "Do you know how to fill out a job application?" "Do you ever get picked on at school or online?" "Do you have a place where you can go to feel safe?" "I've never not felt safe. So what does that mean?" While this may seem like tough-guy language, to me, it's a problem. Because safety is more than "I'm tough/strong/brave/capable enough to protect myself in any situation." Safety is comfort. It's a place free from worries. If you had never felt unsafe you wouldn't have PTSD flashbacks when you hear loud noises that are so bad you can't see and can hardly talk. If you had never felt unsafe you wouldn't worry so much about being on time that you forget to fall asleep or arrive hours early. If you had never fe...